To post....or not to post...that is the question?!?!? :)

So the lovely "time hop" feature that Facebook has some up and downs.  Sometimes I love it.  Sometimes I hate it.  Today I hated it.  It reminded me that 8 years ago today I married my 2nd ex-husband.  Yes, 2nd (not bragging about that).  And it was the worst experience of my life.  First of all I married a non-believer, that had my convinced he was a believer.  Secondly, he was trained in the military for his 26 years of service to lie and talk himself out of any situation and he used that to the fullest of his advantage in our marriage and dating life.  Looking back I can now see that with full clarity.  When we were dating, I believed all the lies, because he said everything that I wanted to hear.  What does that have to do with today.  Today would have been our 8th wedding anniversary.  By God's amazing grace, He got me out of that marriage after 4 long, painful, abusive, terrifying years.  There was emotional abuse, there was mental abuse, there was physical abuse, there was mental abuse.  There was rape on many occasions.  Which yes, this can happen when you are married and it is WRONG!!!! And that took me a long time to come to grips with.  There was physical abuse to other family members of mine, not to mention a lot of control of manipulation.  Therefore, now those struggling with PTSD and emotional baggage from the damage that one man did.  I think to a point we all had a "fear" of him, which was wrong, and he used that to his fullest extent.  It was a game to him and he knew how to play it well.  We all had a higher belief in him, we thought he was a better person and believed him when he said he wanted to changed.  It was all words to him, there was no follow-through.  After many attempts at counseling and seeking those with much more wise counsel than us and he still continued the affairs and adultery, I could not continue in a lifestyle such as that, so I filed for divorce.  More than anything it was effecting my health and it was not a healthy place for me to be.  And by far my ex did not see that he was doing anything wrong or that their was anything to repair in our marriage.  So yes, I was the one that filed for divorced.  He held that against me, so I was the "bad guy", at that point it didn't matter to me any longer, I needed to get myself out of that situation.  My parents graciously accepted me back into their home again and that where me and my 4-legged kiddos remain.  It's a daily worked in process, but God is so faithful and I would not be where I am today if it were not for His mercy and grace and never ending love....God is SO good!!!